Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
