I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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