i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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