dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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