Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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