Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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