i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize