What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
