Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
