And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
