she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
did i just pee glitter
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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