i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
