I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
