I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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