omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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