whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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