No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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