I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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