I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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