Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
