i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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