I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
