i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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