Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
