I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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