I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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