I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
