bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
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I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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