whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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