My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
