well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
