It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
