Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
