If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
