dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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