So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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