The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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