what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
