I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
