so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
