She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
