Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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