I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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