best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize