It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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