So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
