NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
