It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
