Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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