I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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