My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
