we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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