This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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