Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
