Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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