Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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