Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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